jackassworld

I am, as they say, home for the holidays at present. And I guess it’s only fitting that after all the ribbing I gave you less fortunate types stuck in winter climes, I am now sitting smack dab in the middle of Wisconsin on my ice cold ass. Yes, since I first landed in my home state on Saturday the temperatures have not risen above 6 degrees Fahrenheit, which, I have to admit, sure feels better than the 12 below zero that it was yesterday. You always hear how a witch’s tit is cold, but bloody hell, the Midwest is one dead fucking witch right now. (more…)

Honestly, I can’t say for certain that this wasn’t on DVD. The thing is, though, whatever was on the jackass DVD box set in terms of original television show segments was supposed to have shimmied on over here to the online library. But last week, when I went to go retrieve a jackass archive clip for posting purposes, I first sought out this collage of barely-clothed suburban lawncare absurdities from Bam Margera and Raab Himself but was surprised to find it nowhere to be found. (more…)

Now I don’t know about you (well, actually some of you I do know about and I know you’re going to vehemently disagree with me), but I think this is one of Danger Ehren’s best appearances on jackass. “But why,” you say, “it’s not even the real Ehren!” (more…)

First off, this is not a burning ring of fire. It’s horse shit and lots of it. “Horse Poo Joust” hails from the earliest months of filming for jackass in the summer of 2000, when our fecal fantasies were still in their infancy. (more…)

Typically this would be the occasion to break out the “yore,” “ye,” and “yon” period piece speech, but I was just too tickled while watching this clip to try and pull any medieval crap out of my duodenum. I think what ultimately distracted me from doing so was the incredibly close call between Bam Margera and an unwitting Razor totin’ kook who almost walked out and took the charge mid-tunnel. Holy crap! (more…)

Yet again I must express my sincere wonder at how some of this shit never skidded onto the assorted jackass television series DVDs. A close accompaniment to “Duck Hunting” with Raab Himself, “Skeet Shooting” is another paintballin’ welt-fest in which Johnny Knoxville and Ryan Dunn escape relatively unscathed while Raab is lit up like a backwoods Christmas tree. But whereas “Duck Hunting” found a respectable digital rest home, “Skeet Shooting” all but disappeared into that mucky green moat of Arasapha Farms. A shame, because I’m pretty sure Jeff Tremaine spent a long time crafting those matching bull’s eyes on Raab’s sick ass cheeks.

Okay, time to flush the toilet here on some transitional remnants from seasons 2 and 3 of the jackass television series that were never preserved for digital eternity. Things clinging to the bowl include: Guch getting radical on a kiddy slide in Portland, Oregon; Bam threading the needle while crossing Gay and High in West Chester, Pennsylvania; Steve-O thwocking his head on an airboat in the Everglades of Florida; and then an assortment of unorthodox jacuzzi moves by the cast at our favorite hotel destination spot in Orlando, Florida.

This is one of those television series renegades that reaffirms my faith in jackass, meaning dumbshittery continues to abound and prosper throughout the ages. Why exactly “Football Follies” never made it onto the DVD box set is a real D.B. Cooper mystery for the new millennium, but then again there were a lot of things about the jackass series’ move to DVD that never made a whole heck of a lot of sense. Anyone remember when Volumes 2 and 3 came out years before Volume 1? That was a good laugh to be had on the no good account of too many nervous nellies in the bureaucratical bunch. Anyway, it’s nice to have Steve-O, Danger Ehren, and Stephanie Hodge back off the bench and onto the playing field. Yay, team! See you in the showers.

Ah, Orlando… If we ever did go ahead and start production on the fabled jackass 3, which we haven’t, for all you unbelievers out there, I doubt we’d be able to pass up one more trip to this city. Or, more importantly, the hotel of horrors that gave us carte blanche to do most anything and everything within the confines of its property, including nakedness in the lobby, more nakedness in the elevators, and even more nakedness in the conference rooms. (more…)

For the more trivial-minded amongst you, here’s an esoteric selection of trivia surrounding Chris Pontius’s “Night Monkey” business in 2000: (more…)